Fear

I've told the story of my Steelhead Swim to a few friends over the past couple of days and the reactions got me thinking about fear. Several folks said, "No way I'd be back in the river after that..." while others said, "Well, now you've done it and survived it...".

You can't live life afraid. That's a revelation which has only become clear to me recently. Could you get hurt skiing that black diamond run? Yup. Will you die from heart disease if you sit on the couch all the time? Probably equally likely. Now, I've taken a swim in a 38 degree river in January. And while I don't take it lightly, I also recognize that I was prepared, stayed calm, and knew what to do. That felt good. Now I'm less afraid of the river.

I love to cook and try new things. I realized recently that it's because I'm not afraid to fail. It's just food. If it doesn't turn out, I have the number for the local pizza place memorized. I've made some great stuff, some mediocre stuff, and some truly disappointing stuff. With cooking, if you always stay in your comfort zone, you'll never learn. Some good cooking friends helped me see that in recent years.

This inspiration has been helpful. It gets me to thinking of other things that invoke fear and analyzing them to understand why the spark this fear and dealing with it. The bigger fear? Not living life. It's amazing how much this transfers -- and conquering fears is momentum-building. Once you stare one down, the others look more manageable.

An aside - the idea of the swim was way worse than the actuality. I really was never scared while it was happening. Adrenaline? Maybe.

-Sean-