Dear Snowboarder...

If you've been doing this for any time, you know that skiers hate you. Hate may not even be a strong enough term, actually. I have several boarder friends who are cool, conscientious, and aware. But the vast majority don't seem to know why we don't like you...

1. You're harder than hell to pass - you swoop all over the mountain. You're totally unpredictable. I can't really figure it out exactly, but skiers are SO much easier to pass. There's something about the arc of a snowboard turn that's different. This one's not your fault, but man it adds challenge for skiers overtaking you. Oh, and for some reason no one ever taught you to look uphill. As a result, I've nearly injured more of you than you'll ever know.
2. You just plop down wherever is most convenient for you - on the hill, at a narrow entrance to a trail. While I know this is convenient for YOU, it's not for everyone else. Look around, slide to the side a little, please?
3. The "seagulls" trick - I got this term from a boarder friend. It's where a flock of you all just sits down on top of the run. You look like seagulls. Or a slalom course -- I have been known to run you like gates.
4. You beat the hell out of the snow on steep slopes - this one's more the beginners among you. When you're on a hill you're not really ready for, what do you do? Yup, sideslip the whole way down. A snowboard is a perfect spatula for removing all the good snow right down to solid ice. Way better, in fact, than skis. If you're not ready for a black run, stay off it.
5. Lift lines - I know your board has a large surface area and is harder to control in tight spaces. But geez, I am sick of you knocking me around, running over the tops of my skis, and nearly pushing me off of chairlifts as we try to get on. I've seen a lot of you who are really good at this; please teach your friends! 

I'm sure there are a million things about skiers that bug you, too. Several of my boarder friends were surprised by at least a couple of these things. And I don't truly hate boarders - I know a ton of you who are super-cool and a genuine pleasure to share the slopes with. But a bunch of you do add a real challenge to skiing, especially at resorts that are boarder-heavy.

Finally, a joke for you: "Q: How does a snowboarder say good morning?  A: Sorry, dude...". And, yes, that was told to me by a boarder...

Peace out. We can all get a long. I'll give you a wide berth, maybe you can be more aware of others around you.

-Sean-